So, I feel like I only post about me crying. In reality, I'm doing so much better, especially in the last couple of weeks. The first week, I cried practically non-stop. My mom had to get up with me every three hours to feed Russell because I couldn't be alone without sobbing (thanks Mom!). Then I would go back to bed and wake Matt up with my sobbing. So I know what crying all the time means.
With that said, I cried at church today. I've already said how I hate crying but I hate crying in public even more. I was fine until they prayed for the sick about mid-Mass. Of course the next part of Mass is mostly quiet prayers with only the Priest talking. So, I left. First, I went to the cry room - who says the cry room is only for crying kids? Then I left and went outside. I'm sure I wasn't bugging anybody with my sniffling but I didn't want to be there sniffling. Russell and I spent about the last quarter of Mass outside. Thankfully, it was pretty nice. I sat there and swayed to the little bit of songs I could hear. I was trying to think of a hymn or other worship song that would express how I was feeling or what I needed to say to God/hear from Him. I could only think of a couple songs and none of them were right. Any suggestions? I knew there has to be 100 out there.
I promise I don't cry 24/7. :) In fact, I find joy in the middle of the night feeding Russell. Yes, I said joy. Once I get over the, "please don't wake me up it is 4 in the morning" feeling, I get to hold and look at my precious infant while he has his bottle. How great is that?
By the way, a few people have said they can't figure out how to comment on the blog. There should be a link at the bottom of each post that says "0 comments" If you click on the link I think it will open a box. If you still can't figure it out or want to send a private message, you can always email me. I don't want to put my email address on the internet but I bet you know someone who has it (or can get it).
No comments:
Post a Comment